Broken heart

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I have had to deal with a few heartbreaking losses so far in my young years, and today could be another.

This pain never seems to get easier, that searing, sharp pain in the chest, that every time I think of it, makes me sick.

This death to some will seem very trivial, but to me it is horrible, it is my wee friend and family cat, Mitze.

A loss of a family pet is nothing to some and doesn’t seem worth crying over, but this wee kitten has been with me through a lot.

That is what is harder for me to deal with and may seem so obvious, since they will no longer  be their every day, waiting for me or there to hold.

I guess that’s the part of dealing with death. The feeling of someone torn away from you, that small part, that make up who you are.

I wish I had a few more days with everyone I have ever had to lose in my life and tell them how much I love them and will miss them.

It doesn’t get any easier with each death I have had to deal with.  But when my mum passed away, I was left in a trance for a long time and didn’t want to talk to anyone about what I was going through, I just wanted to float by.  I did have my cats though, they helped cause they couldn’t talk back and tell me how to feel, they just let me do what I was doing.

Maybe this is why I am taking it harder, and sadly life has to keep moving on.

While everyone keeps on doing there day to day things, I’ll be over here trying to keep my chin up, while my heart breaks a little more.

Every day does get easier but it doesn’t mean I will ever forget those that have come and gone.

They have that space in my heart until the day it is my turn to go.

So goodbye little one xo

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